sleep and dust bunnies

Sleep - I don't get much
Dust Bunnies - I have a ton

Sometimes in the afternoon when I am quite delirious we have races with the dust bunnies down the hallway. I know this sound crazy, but these are the small things I do to amuse myself and help me get through the day.

I have daily goals with the babies,
One: keep them happy and entertained
Two: Make it to 5pm
Three: make it to 7pm
Four: Get at least 3 consecutive hours of sleep somewhere

Here is how I have been feeling, Overwhelmed...

Taking care of two infants is by far the most challenging experience I have even encounter. Don't get me wrong, I love it and I am excited to have two babies, but it is so much work, effort, time, ... I know that I am good at this and I know that this is rewarding and I would never want to be anywhere else. I always dreamed of having three kids and it is awesome to have three kids, who knows maybe we will have more.

Anyway back to being overwhelmed, I am home all day with the companionship of two fella's who don't talk (in my language at least). They don't like to sleep in the day or apparently now at night. I am constantly moving them from playpen to excersaucer to swing to floor. Every 10 to 20 minutes moving and shaking not babies. It is hard for me to get out of the house even for a walk, forget going anywhere. They don't like the mall, the car, the car seat. They like my hip though.

I am tired, exhausted and NOT suffering from ppd. I am just overwhelmed. I sat in my room crying last night wanting to call my mom and ask her to come over, but she has enough going on. Like all mothers we know when our kids need us because just as I stopped crying and started bathing the boys my mom walked through the door. she knew I needed her and without a phone call or being asked in anyway she came to my rescue, thanks mom.

We proceeded to put the guys to bed by 8pm (later than usual) and I was so thankful to have them down I was finally able to collect all my dust bunnies and clean my kitchen (to some degree). I finally put my head on the pillow at 10:30pm and was quickly out of bed at 10:35 to an awake baby WTF...... These kids were sleeping through the night or at least 6-8 hours at a time, this week however, they want to be up before 11pm. So when we finally got them back to sleep at 1:30am (yes, 3 hours) I got to sleep until 4:30am only to be woken up by two babies that decided to stay awake until 6am. Well of course they are sleeping right now and have been for two hours, why wouldn't they, they are infants and need sleep.

So since we are in an apartment and the boys are still in one crib, I have made a few decision:
One: Get them in Colin's room somehow
Two: Cut back on nursing at night
Three: Wait for Colin to go to camp this summer and maybe let them cry it out
Four: Not give up
Five: Take a deep breath and be thankful for what I have

I am so fortunate, all I had to do was say pregnant and I was pregnant with twins. I know there are many people who are not that lucky. So that is what I hold in the back of my mind every day and night, I am fortunate to have Colin, to have Larry and to have Thomas and William. Plus they are all so damn cute.

I needed to get some thoughts out, yeah, I should have been sleeping or cleaning or something, but I decided to take a shower and blog